Look to the cross

"I will behave wisely in a perfect way.
Oh, when will You come to me?
I will walk within my house with a perfect heart."
Psalm 101:2

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Disorientated

i'm angry when people try to force their ideals on me. just shut up!
i'm irritated when external factors leave me stranded without a cause. just be punctual lah!
i'm hurting when my cough is causing my back to ache badly. just get lost!
i'm upset when i feel that there's nothing going. just give me some enthusiasm!

tell me about it!

to His cross 12:58 AM

Friday, May 27, 2005

flu bugged. very bugged. heh! *sniff sniff* blocked nose! (:

to His cross 12:06 AM

Thursday, May 26, 2005

You are Black Sheep who has soft sensitive atmosphere and kind of feminine attraction.
You are not shy even towards men, and are very sociable.
But unlike the atmosphere you possess, you are not that romantic and dreamy.
You are extremely realistic in that you try to build a steady business and safe family.
You have great will power, and are very strong woman.
You can manipulate men tactfully.
You can serve them well to make them successful in life, and you will not easily give up half way.
Nevertheless, if it is about yourself, you tend to be loose, selfish and indecisive.
You can make objective decisions, and will not be influenced by emotions.
While you place importance on harmony of the people, you do not forget to subtly promoting yourself.
Therefore, you tend to have wide contact of people from early age.
You possess both dark and light side of personality, and that character comes out according to situation.
You can feel sorry for something, but you tend to be obstinate and not able to adapt to people around you.
You have rather strong maternal feelings towards men, and tend to take too much care of them.
This makes other people feel being interfered. So you should be careful.
After getting married, you will work hard on cores, and become a good wife.
Although, you become devoted to your husband, when both of you get to middle age, your relationship may change, so you need to think up something to avoid such situation.

hum, not very true except the maternal instincts stuff.

to His cross 11:31 PM

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

i've just gone quite crazy thinking. lots of emotional upheavals.

i wanna hold your hand.

to His cross 10:47 AM

Monday, May 23, 2005

must have some faith in you. (:

to His cross 10:02 PM

i cannot tell...

to His cross 4:36 PM

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Waiting

a lovely oldie that i used to sing on karaoke.

Right Here Waiting
Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here, waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last, somehow
I hear the laughter,
I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here, waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end, if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here, waiting for you
Waiting for you

to His cross 11:42 PM

dirty linen

i am not a shallow faker. i am real as i am. i show my true self by scolding back. you said i'm shallow. so you want me to uphold you in glory? it's fake. want it? then be it! And anyway, I only uphold God in His undeniable glory.

keep the common ground. (:

to His cross 10:16 PM

Coming of Age

i msged liyen today. usually, i call him teacher liyen. so i went ahead and type t. liyen. he answered my sms and also said: "by the way. don't call me teacher already lah, u so old already." i didnt take it as a sarcasm that i am old. but i guess it's because i'm serving alongside with him in YPG, that's why to drop the formality. so now i have to call him liyen. it's so weird and funny.

i will be there and i just want to do so.
and there's so much to know.
i enjoy every bit of our friendship now.

thanks for being patient. * this much.

to His cross 12:32 AM

Friday, May 20, 2005

i bought two pairs of shoes from Tangs. quite happy.
tmr is casual friday!

i choose not to be complacent and negative. i am still excited.

thanks. looking forward to times. (:

to His cross 12:32 AM

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Celebrate! Joy to the World!

Celebrate with me!
I passed my advanced theory test! Finally! I'm gonna sign up for practical test next week. I wanna pass by September. Then I can go vroom vroom away!

Anyway, the temp job has been fine. Everyone is amiable. Just trying to fit in properly. Really pray that I don't make terrible mistakes and tread on everyone's toes. Hope to apply leave for YAG retreat as well! (:

Bought goodies from marks & spencer today. just got my Tangs vouchers as well, gonna go shopping for shoes and accessories soon. (:

and some indulgences in hagen-daz icecream too... yum!

to His cross 11:09 PM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

make things happen. elaine, my mom
in-between. lin & i
wait for things to happen. my dad, weiyang
don't know what happen. felicia

this is the makeup of my family. i dont like to wait for things to happen. most of the time. i dont like people who wait for things to happen and still complain. it is just like the people of Israel complaining when they have food, drink and shelter.

when can we learn to be contented? when can we learn not to hold on tight to the tangible things of this earth, especially money? have lessons from the bible fall onto deaf ears or has your hearts been hardened? sometimes, i just don't understand why it is so difficult for people to understand God's way for us.

when i earn my first "pot of gold", i will give. it has always been a desire in my heart. i pray that i will not be stingy with my money.

sweetened.

to His cross 10:23 PM

Saturday, May 14, 2005

i'm taking up a temp job at ivy's workplace. it's at wheelock place. town! i'm quite excited about it. hah! a job to keep my bum away & earn some $$$. i shall update more when i start work! (:

shall we dance?

to His cross 1:13 AM

Friday, May 13, 2005

Kinder (bueno) Surprise

something i discovered but forgot to blog in my previous entry:

I saw But We See Jesus series at SKS! Really glad that good daily devotionals as such are made available for others to read and grow in their faith.

Yesterday was full of pleasant surprises!

to His cross 11:56 AM

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Extraordinary Time with Books

space out.

i crashed my sister's lecture today at NIE. it was programme feedback, so there wasn't lectures.

it was obvious in the student teachers' expressions of faces and body language. it was obvious to tell who is enthusiastic and has the true heart of wanting to teach. those are the individuals who are smiley and full of vibrance. needless to say, on the contrary, are dull and tiresome bundles. i really take heart and am touched to see enthusiastic individuals. i'm glad they found their meaning and niche as a teacher. yet, on the other hand, i'm disturbed. why do people choose teaching in the first place when he or she does not really like it? some even break bond, compensate, and leave. it's disheartening and atrocious to me. i say, never sign a teaching bond unless you are sure. if you are not sure, take up relief or contract teaching to get the exposure. as for me, i am sure. (:

so as i said, i went crashing in NIE. visited the library and met Ai-Leen and Shannie for lunch with my sister. Oh, we visited Ai-Leen's workplace. Heh! thereafter, we went to SKS and spent the whole afternoon, looking and reading children's books. I got two kids' music scorebooks. one is more teeny (keeping it for my own use) and the other for Junior Camp/JSS1. I had fun reading children's books. We also went Cheng San library and i borrowed two chinese story books (novels). do you know cinderella's stepsister found a baker boyfriend? do you know there are after-stories for all the princessy series? i found out today while i visited Popular bookstore.

it was a good time burying in books and education stuff today. haha. it's a little unusual & extraordinary because i'm not exactly a pro-reader you know. (:

to His cross 11:10 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

i hate it when people take God as a mean to the end to problems. they just say they will trust God and just do nothing about it. this is a wrong thinking. you've got your part to play!

to His cross 10:22 PM

i think sometimes we have been so skeptical about life that we choose to build our happiness, vent our misery by taking it on on another person. yet when people do the similar to us, we complain and cry out loud that it is totally unfair. why? should we not take a look at our actions?

to His cross 9:48 PM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Fatty (t)issues

i'm gulping down two bottles of Yakult. why? cos my brother drank my strawberry yoghurt without asking me. i was furious when i found out because i was PLANNING to drink it when i come home from bible study. sick.

attention-seeker. sick.
bossy-ness. sick.
think-he/she-do-right. sick.
to-worry-about-money. sick.
flirt. sick.
smooth-talker. sick.
cheeky-good-for-nothing. sick.
a-life-lived-without-regard-for-God. sick.

since none of our batch guys read blogs or rather my blog, let me say this here. sometimes, i really wonder if guys look at you and think that you are fat and perhaps detest you. i know our church guys don't think that way. at least i hope and think so.

has anyone come to you and say you are fat or you looked pregnant? it's a hard feeling. people shld be more considerate in their words. like me, i dont say that to people. sick.

to His cross 10:33 PM

Monday, May 09, 2005

Live it

i dreamt that i got the NIE interview and i went for it. heh!

i love sunday school lessons because teacher chiew yen makes them very relevant and the lessons always speak to me. be it about our own christian living, ministries as a leader, thoughts. and it is always fun to hear her speaking about teacher chung, lorraine and justin.

sunday school lesson this week: 1 Corinthians 9

questions:
1) have i been intentionally choosing and making decisions in my life and in my ways so that these open the door to reach out to people?
2) have i been living a exemplary life that allows people to draw close and yearn to understand the driving force (God) in my life? (this is pre-evangelism)
3) are there areas in my life that are not exemplary?
4) am i a stumbling block to somebody because of my actions and words?
5) do the things i do, the words i say show that I love God and His people?

"And everyone who competes for the prize is temprate in all tihngs. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an impersihable crown." - 1 Corinthians 9:25

"But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." - 1 Corinthians 9:27

To be temperate is to have self control. It is to exercise the Christian liberty that we have, but discretely. A restricted liberty. One must have self-control and be disciplined. It is mind over body.

More questions:
6) How can i be involved in pre-evangelism?
7) Can I be a stark difference?
8) Would I choose not to do certain things because I am wearing the uniform of Christ, because I bear the name of God?

I have always find it my responsibility and burden to be the difference, to be the exemplary example to the people around me. And I live to practise it.

to His cross 2:47 PM

Saturday, May 07, 2005

double-minded. another choice?

it's awfully scary, "scaryly" awful, awful & scary to read off blogs that speak of God and spiritually things that are right, yet the lives of the bloggies do not match with what they say.

there's so much for us to do.
walk. the only way.
can we call ourselves to be blameless?

words are just words.
God does not read blogs. He sees the hearts.

to His cross 9:57 PM

Thursday, May 05, 2005

i woke up and went to the kitchen. saw the peanut butter, opened it. i couldn't resist the temptation of the peanut butter. went to buy bread to eat. shiok.

yesterday, sam, kathy & i went music shopping for junior camp songs. we bought two songbooks and one comes with a cd. wonderful. we had fun listening to the songs back in church. listening to kids' songs bring so much joy to you instantly without having any reason!

i also went to bowl at Hougang Superbowl. heh heh, i reset my highest record to 109. that was the 1st game. 2nd game, i was distracted, only 80 plus. but it was good time, practising. (:

then i went back to church to help ivy & yvonne with the junior camp publicity. did things without using my mind. many things to do today, but 1st i must find poster paint.

to His cross 9:20 AM

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

bonds of the same mind
juli
peiyong
mich
alvin
weiquan
louisa

this is no particular bias or ranking. just my thoughts about stuff.

to His cross 1:20 AM

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

for my tummy-trim plan, i picked up skipping. something i've procrastinated for about a month already. i skipped 150 today. 150 is not a good record. but because it's 1st time after so long time, i shall not over-exert myself. i'll increase 50 each day till i reach 500. my aim is do 1000. i got myself tangled up with the rope a lot of times and i'm feeling a little dizzy already. i'm lousy i know. haha! but i'll keep at it.

felicia: you are not fat. you just got to trim down your tummy.
me: ya lorh. i'll do skipping.
felicia: running better.
me: no. skipping burns more calories than running
felicia: you must do 50 sit-up a day too
me: cannot lah, i can only do 20 at most.
(and we got distracted talking about NAPFA test.)

this tummy of mine has been there since i was young. i'm born with it. i'm serious! moreoever, i love food and i can't resist them. i must work hard at it. (:

to His cross 4:33 PM

i'm sorry that i had to vent my frustrations on you when you don't even know.

to His cross 12:36 AM

Monday, May 02, 2005

i'm sorry for that stupid blog entry.
i'll go to the Lord.
He is a Father that I have.
He understands me.
He knows me.
He loves me.
He does not despise me.
He does not discourage me.
He does not use sarcasm on me.

He is a loving Father that I can go to. He is always there.
I'm glad I'm a child of God, adopted with a price - Christ, redeemed.
That is the reason why I love God.

to His cross 1:20 PM

who will understand the f*cking home i live in?
who will understand the verbal torture i get from him?
who will understand the mental torture i get from him?
who will understand the irritating home i'm in?

he thinks we are disregarding him. we are not. he is being tooooooooooooooooo sensitive. putting the blame on us. we are living in this f*cking home because he is totally incapable.

why do i have to bear all these and you can't see it? will you just give me a little support? will you be there? who else go through what i am and emerge strong? no one. why do i have the least of all things? i need certainty from you if i'm supposed to wait.

to His cross 12:59 PM

hui min
20 years old
a kindergarten teacher
a christian
@ Bethany Independent-Presbyterian Church

July
~~3rd: Wei Yang's Birthday~~
18th: Elaine's Birthday

Grace

Lord, as I seek Your guidance
for the day,
I find my thoughts unyielding,
Confusion crowds my way;
But then when I bow to You
The challenges You guide me through
Your promises are ever new,
I claim them for today.

Your will cannot lead me
Where Your grace cannot keep me
Your hand will protect me.
I rest in our care.
Your eyes will watch over me,
Your love will forgive me
And when I am faltering,
I still will find You there.

Each new day's design
Is charted by Your hand
And graciously revealed
As I seek Your master plan.
Keep my footsteps faithful
When from You I go.
Return me to the joy that your blessings can bestow